Excuse me honey!

I was riding the city bus today and the man next to me said, "excuse me honey" when he wanted me to move so he could get up and exit the bus. No, he did not say this in a demeaning way. It was very respectful and polite. However, it took me a while to get to a point in my life where I could see that kind of remark as such.

As a native of Wisconsin I am used to people being very direct and not sugar coating things. Don't get me wrong, Wisconsinites are genuinely nice people; very welcoming and accommodating. When I lived in my home state the only time I would hear some one say something like "excuse me honey" was when they were addressing a loved one, a small child, or intended to deliver a very condescending statement. At my former workplace, a co-worker uttered that line to another co-worker when he didn't like what was being asked of him; he was placed on a one week unpaid suspension. We just don't speak to each other like that.

When I moved to Memphis, Tennessee I had to do quite a few double takes before I realized this phrase had a different meaning and use in the south. Instead of just saying it to loved ones people say it to anyone they wish to be nice to. I would hear it at the gas station, in the grocery store, at work, etc. At first, I wasn't sure what to make of it. Were these people talking down to me as if I were a child? Were they belittle me? Slowly, I got used to hearing the niceties (sweetie is another oft used phrase). The occurrences stopped bothering me and I stopped wondering about motivations. I just took the speech at face value and decided the intent doesn't really matter if it is coming from a stranger. I can either see it as a compliment to brighten my day or I can ignore the words that will in no way harm or change my life.

Nowadays a smile a little when someone refers to me in such a way. I try to see positives in life. After all, honey isn't the worst thing I've ever been called.