Lies Shells told me

I like to tell colorful stories. Some say I lie, but that's not how I label my theatrics. I would call it a lie if I didn't start laughing and ruin the whole bit in the middle of my embellishment. I would call it a lie if I made the story more plausible and therefore seemingly accurate. I recently started reading Lies Chelsea Handler Told Me, which is a hilarious book in concept and in word. Although I do not always think Chelsea Handler is funny and I think she uses words that are insensitive and vulgar, this book is funny. The book is written by hear friends and family, each taking a chapter to detail the biggest and worst lies Chelsea ever told them. I think what I find most humorous is the lengths she will go to in telling a lie and how long she will carry out a certain lie, sometimes even forgetting a lie was told. My friend Amelia (named changed to protect any purported sense of innocence) bemoans how much I lie. I like to think she likes it because they're harmless lies; my lies never make her look bad. So, I told her I was reading this book and she should maybe be afraid of the scheming ideas I will come up with. (Cue evil laughter) bah haw haw haw.