My awesome disengage philosophy

When in doubt, disengage. This is a good piece of advice when dealing with situations that seem to be a no-win. And no, I am not talking about disengaging when you're expected to complete a work project or to disengage when people are counting on you to hold up your end of responsibilities.

My disengage philosophy comes in handy when dealing with unpleasant social situations. That creepy guy won't stop texting you? Disengage. That acquaintance on FaceBook keeps trolling all of your posts or publicly fighting with you in comment space? Disengage. That person at work who always seems to hit your buttons? Disengage.

Often these people are just looking to get a rise out of you. Or, they will use any opportunity that is presented to further annoy you. These people want to keep the conflict (or simple exchange) going so they can try to best you in whatever way benefits them the most.

I once worked with a man who would say things he knew I would find controversial just to see what I had to say. We'll call him Bob. At first, I would let Bob's comments get to me and I would react. This would start a time consuming and mood disrupting debate. No one needs that at work. Unless you are very bored, in which case you should probably see your manager and ask for more work. Once I realized Bob was negatively affecting my mood daily, I decided to cut it off. Instead of responding rudely or ignoring Bob, I tapered off my availability. I would concentrate heavily on work whenever he was around and appear as though I shouldn’t be interrupted. Sure, this earned comments questioning why I was suddenly so hard at work all the time and not taking any breaks, not being social, etc. However, eventually Bob's habit of stopping by to bother me ended. I was more peaceful and I had more time to get my work done. Interestingly enough, his name is not Bob. I cannot remember what it is, yet I allowed him to alter my moods so significantly.

Situations that warrant disengagement come in all forms in all aspects of life. The irritators come in more shapes and sizes than described. It may even be a negative friend who is holding you back with negativity. The first step is identifying these situations and deciding when to draw the line. Your life will be much happier for it when you’ve decided to let yourself be happy.