Allergies: Failure and disappointment

It’s been a while since I’ve written on my allergy injections. The great hope! Well a lot of nothing has gone on between now and then. It is very disappointing actually. This post is about failure and dissapointment.

Let me start out by talking about some of the bad that have happened. I blogged about my swelling and rashes, but I did not write about the respiratory troubles I experienced just weeks later (not as great of a visual). I was driving to Wisconsin through Chicago when my ears all of a sudden got that troubling full feeling. Soon after I felt a ball grow in my throat and I had diminished breathing ability. These symptoms weren’t totally alarming, but I knew I had to do something. Of course, you can’t find an interstate oasis when you need one. I didn’t want to pull off onto a secondary road, so I kept going. Finally, I began fishing around in my purse hoping to grasp one of my allergy relievers. Luckily, I found my fast acting nasal steroid. Within five minutes my symptoms had dissipated and I was better, at least the fear had subsided. All was good in the world.

The next week I had a checkup with my doctor, and my treatment plan was modified. While the drastic swelling and rash were problematic, the respiratory problems were definitely cause for concern. The doctor decided to take my allergen dosage back (on the treatment timeline) and create an in-between level for me, since the level I was at was obviously too harsh for my body (imagine using a 1/500 because the body couldn't handle the change from 1/1000 to 1/100). The doc also decided that I should only come in once a week for the injections instead of twice, and I had to take double antihistamines on my shot days. Plus, I would be questioned by the nurse as to whether I had taken my extra meds and whether I had my epi-pen with me.

This change in my treatment has gone over favorably. When I say favorably I mean that it has not caused me any problems. However, my treatment process is taking longer because we had to add a middle dosage level that doesn’t exist for most, adding at least a month to the process. This is not only taking up more of my time (an hour a week if I have no reaction), it is costing me a lot of money.

Which brings me to the decision I am about to make. I will soon pull the trigger, ending the allergy injections. You see, my symptoms have not gotten better. It has been five months, and I should have noticed a difference by now, other than the worsening of symptoms that I have been noting. I am nearing the end of the building phase of my treatment. Next is the maintenance phase, meant to sustain the level of pollen resistance that was created in the previous phase. However, nothing has gotten better. Things have only gotten worse. While I understand that it has not been a favorable year for allergy sufferers, what year is? I feel like that is said every year. Pollen levels are sooooo bad this season. When aren’t they? This is the new norm. This is my norm.

I have decided not to be too reactionary. I am giving this process one more month, or so. I am waiting until the first frost. Since it has gotten cooler, my ears have stopped feeling an extreme pressure that makes me envision blood streaming from them. Now, I just feel an uncomfortable amount of pressure (the ear thing is a new symptom this year). I also have very itchy eyes, a problem which is causing me to take even more antihistamines before bed. Just so I can sleep. I now need to dope myself to get a good night’s sleep. While the injections have probably not increased the instance of my symptoms or increased their severity, they are not helping relieve them, which is what they are designed to do.

I can't help but feel very disappointed. I had a lot riding on these treatments. The ability to eat an apple, for instance. I know my allergies (oral allergies and regular) are not the worse thing in the world. People are dealing with, coping with, so much more. But I was hoping that after these treatments I would be able to eat normally again and wouldn't have to be so cautious about everything that is brought my way or briefly described on a menu. It is a little depressing. Like I said, this is my norm. 

Okay, that's it. That is all the wallowing I will allow myself. I will not feel sorry for myself. Time to put a positive spin on things or at least move forward with a new action plan. Back to eating pollen with my yogurt in the morning. That wasn't so bad...