The Definition of a Midlife Crisis

     What is a midlife crisis? People are often labeled as going through one of these confusing attempts to change life because their actions are misunderstood. This is a result of those who are not close friends or confidants judging the actions of others. People would likely not be as willing to label a phase of life as a midlife crisis if they knew the motivating forces behind the actions.
     Recently, during a conversation on early on-set midlife crises a friend said she thought I may have been going through a midlife crisis. I calmly asked Rochelle why and she responded that she felt I was making drastic changes in my life by going back to school. I proceeded to explain to her that returning to school for a graduate degree was always my plan. Remaining in broadcasting, my first career, was never my plan and in order to successfully transition into a new career I would need training. Rochelle is a friend who has been with me for a long time and has always known my life plans, so it seemed odd that my recent actions had been dubbed crisis decisions. She now has a very busy life and lives thousands of miles away from me and because of those factors my life changes may have seemed more sudden and random to her. It appeared she did not understand what I was doing.
     In addition to people not understanding the motivations for life decisions, I feel that sometimes those who are judging may be a little jealous. The jealousy is not over the exact decisions that are made or of the lives of those who are making them, just over the ability to make life changing decisions. People often desire to fulfill a childhood dream, to restart a project started long ago, to move to a new location with new possibilities, to own something to be proud of, but not everyone has the ability to carryout those desires. Everyone has priorities and decisions are made based on those priorities. If someone has made the decision to start a family they may not be able to relocate on a whim. Someone may have decided to become a teacher or another profession with a limited income and they may not be able to afford a certain item they feel they can be proud of. Just because someone is in the position to live out their desires does not mean they are going through a midlife crisis. It usually means they are attempting to better their lives in whatever ways they deem appropriate and most pleasing. The next time I wonder if a friend is going through a midlife crisis I will talk to that person to find out what is going on before I throw that label on their life.